I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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