i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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