i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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