Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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