is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
