i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I have already put on my inside pants.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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