well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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