Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize