i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Randomize
