Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
