Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
