Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
