I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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