So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
