okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
