two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
