Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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