Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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