No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Damn victory sex feels great
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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