I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
