I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
