"it" just moved
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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