About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
tell me about the fingering
Randomize