Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
