Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
you never un-have a 4some
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
