covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
