i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
