Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think i peed on brittanys purse
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
