Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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