nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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