I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
