If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
