3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
