Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
