the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
