my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
