even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
