Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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