'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
