god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
