She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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