real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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