in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he was CRYING into my vagina
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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