fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize