You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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