WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
