his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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