I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
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