At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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