he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
