ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
