I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
