If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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