i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
