TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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