No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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