1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
