Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The uberlube is also flammable
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
