Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
